


F*** a Silver Lining

by a_dale



Series: Your Soul is Bound to Mine [20]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Absolute Trash, CRACK AS HELL, Fuck a Silver Lining, I can't even deal with it, M/M, Panic! at the Disco - Freeform, absolute crack, actual fiery dumpster, bold is white box, sorrynotsorry, underline is yellow box, you can't lie to your soulmate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-28
Updated: 2019-11-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:28:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21588403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_dale/pseuds/a_dale
Summary: Wade Wilson is a professional liar. And then he meets the one person he can't lie to.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Wade Wilson
Series: Your Soul is Bound to Mine [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1272098
Comments: 99
Kudos: 2288
Collections: Harry Potter Fanfic Must Reads, Marvel Fanfic Must Reads





	F*** a Silver Lining

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know what this is. I'm in the wrong time zone my dudes. I forget what sleep is.

Harry had just wanted to take a nice vacation. He’d wanted to take a nice vacation in a nice city far from home and so he’d come to New York because everyone said you hadn’t experienced anything until you’d experienced New York.

Harry was pretty sure the people who said that couldn’t possibly have ever actually been because this? This was definitely not a good experience.

He ducked behind a car, trying to catch his breath. There were robots swarming the city. Literal robots. And they were attacking. And from the reactions of most people - while fear was prominent, exasperation was also quite common. Just how often did this _happen?_

The car he was hiding behind exploded up into the air and Harry staggered back before a blow had him falling, momentarily blinded by the flash.

“Oooooh look! A damsel in distress!” A voice actually squealed, and Harry only had time to see a man in a red and black suit all but blur past him before he actually impaled the robot on two swords. Harry could only stare from where he’d pushed himself up on his elbows. Robot dispatched, the man in the suit turned to face him, mask eerily expressive as it regarded him.

“Uh - thanks.” Harry offered, when the man just stared. At his words, he sprang back into motion.

“I’d say absolutely anytime but I’d probably be lying since I’d have to stalk you then and I don’t actually have as much time for that as people think.” The man broke off - surprised by something - but Harry was just staring.

“Are you always that blunt or do I get special treatment?”

“My usual goal is just to irritate the shit out of people whether that’s telling the truth or not but apparently I can’t lie to you.” at the words, they both went still, and Harry felt his eyes widen. “Can you lie to me?” Harry opened his mouth to say _of course_ and -

“No.” He blinked. Tried again. “I can’t. Lie. That’s so odd. It’s literally like my brain thinks one thing but my mouth does something completely different.” he felt the grin spread across his features. “And you can’t lie to me either.” when the man in the red suit shook his head, obviously not trusting himself to speak, Harry could’ve laughed. “Wicked.”

“You clearly don’t know who I am.” was the immediate reply, and Harry shrugged. This was his soulmate, apparently. His soulmate who literally could never lie to him. He had no idea what a relief it would be until that moment.

“You don’t know me either. On the plus side, if one of us were a serial killer we’d have to admit it.” Harry said brightly, feeling almost giddy. He’d been told so many lies throughout his life and the idea of unbridled truth was so, so welcome.

“At least he has a good sense of humour.” the man muttered, and Harry cocked a brow.

“Thanks, I think.” but the man wasn’t paying any attention to him.

“Of course he thinks I’m talking to him, there’s nobody else here, now shut up.” and Harry felt the moment the man turned his full attention back on him.

“I’m going to go get myself killed.” Was what he said instead, “Stay safe.” and he was off before Harry could even try and say another word. Harry just stared at the spot he’d been, face pale.

Was being his soulmate so bad the man would rather die?

But also -

Why did he care about Harry’s safety if he was literally planning and dying?

>>>

Harry knew he was being followed. He’d been trying to find out anything he could about the man in the suit - and he’d managed to find out something at least. The man went by Deadpool, and was otherwise known as Wade Wilson, mercenary for hire. While the idea of killing people in general didn’t exactly thrill him, he wasn’t about to discount his soulmate completely before having even gotten to know him.

So he’d tried to find him - find Wade - but beyond finding his name the man was impossible to track. Apparently he’d been a little too obvious when looking for information though because now he was being followed and not by the person he wanted to see. He’d seen at least 4 different men, all of whom were armed, and he was pretty sure it wasn’t because they were friends of Wade’s. At least, he hoped not.

He was pretty sure his soulmate couldn’t hate him enough to want to kill him. He went to duck down an alley when the fist flew out, connecting with his jaw, and would’ve sent him sprawling if not for the rough hands grabbing him and dragging him into the very alley he’d been about to hide in. Another fist connected with his stomach and he doubled over, muttering a _confundus_ in the gasp of breath.

The spell worked but before he could draw his wand to give himself a real chance, the other men caught up. He was hit again and then shoved into the wall, pinned there and a gun pressed to his temple. He froze.

“Why are you looking for Wilson?” The man demanded, and Harry was relieved at least that they weren’t friends of Wade sent to kill him. When he didn’t say anything, the man pressed the gun tighter to his temple. “If you don’t tell me, I’m going to let my friends here fuck you up.” And Harry wasn’t really sure if that was a good method of threatening. Before he could even think to respond, a soft _thwip thwip thwip_ filled the air and three of the men behind the one holding him dropped in a spray of blood.

“You know, Terrance, threatening every hot bystander who wants to know about me isn’t a very productive hobby. I’m a very popular superhero.” And then there he was, guns in hand, and even with the mask in place Harry could tell he was watching the man holding him with deadly focus. “If you wanted to hang out, you could’ve just said so.” He didn’t so much as turn his face towards Harry but the wizard could _feel_ his gaze. The temperature in the alley dropped substantially.

_> >>5 minutes earlier on a rooftop nearby…>>>_

**Do you think they know who he is?**

_“_ If they did he’d be dead already _.”_

We should just kill him then you don’t have to worry about it.

“We are not killing my soulmate.”

What’s he good for anyways?

**Soulmates are supposed to complete you. Maybe then you wouldn’t need us.**

Wade snorted.

“You’re not here for my superior mental health.” He muttered, glancing over the edge of the rooftop to watch his soulmate trying to subtly get away from the tail he’d picked up. He saw the moment the fist connected and it had his vision going red.

He hadn’t really been intending on following him because he already knew what sort of trouble that could bring - but when the man had actually started looking for him in earnest, he’d been curious.

The man Fate had seen fit to pair him with seemed almost disgustingly innocent to this sort of thing; he didn’t seem to realize that the kind of people who knew his name were not (generally) the kind of people you wanted to know your face. Yet the man had kept asking, doggedly determined. It was cute, really.

And he knew what kind of stuff the man had found out - knew what people said about him - but nothing seemed to deter him. It was more than cute, really. It was downright endearing.

The second the gun was pressed into the man’s temple, Wade knew he couldn’t _not_ get involved.

_> >>Back in the alley…>>>_

“We didn’t know what this guy wanted with you, but we figured you’d crawl out of the gutter if we came after him. What’s he to you?” Harry felt Wade’s attention shift from him to the man holding the gun and realized it was a good way to deflect the truth if he wanted to.

“Better question. If I cut you open, how long do you think you can hold your insides _inside_ before you pass out and it kills you?”

The gun at Harry’s temple shoved harder and he winced. In that moment, it was like time slowed down. In barely a blink Wade was moving; taking out the last of the men before they could even think to react. Harry closed his eyes, fully expecting to be shot; but then the grip on him loosened, and the heat from the man holding him disappeared to be replaced by a new presence. When this one didn’t touch him, Harry opened his eyes.

He came face to face with a chest covered in red leather and had to look up to look into the mask.

“Why did you save me?” he couldn’t help but ask, because for all intents and purposes, it seemed the man had known he was looking for him but hadn’t wanted to be found.

“You’re my soulmate. Nobody’s allowed to hurt you.” he responded, as if it were obvious. Harry let out a bitter laugh.

“Except you, right?” even with the mask, Harry could tell he’d shocked him.

“What makes you think I want to hurt you?” he all but demanded, crowding in closer. It had Harry stepping back instinctually, barely able to move a step before his back hit the wall. He swallowed, but didn’t back down.

“You ran away. You look like you want to run away again.” he swallowed again, trying not to become too emotional, but he couldn’t seem to help it. “You said you wanted to _die_ after meeting me.”

“That’s not true. I said I was going to get myself killed. That’s totally different.” Wade argued, but Harry just glared.

“That’s exactly what it means.”

“Babe, I’m pretty much immortal. Death doesn’t stick.”

Harry blinked, thrown by both the pet name and the information.

“But-”

“Of course I don’t want to hurt you.” Wade interrupted, obviously frustrated. “But I’m literally insane. You deserve better.”

Harry thought briefly to their first meeting, where Wade had been talking to someone else who hadn’t been there. He waved it off though, because he knew when someone was trying to make excuses to get away from him.

“You’re the only person who’s supposed to want me and you don’t even want to be near me.”

“Baby boy, you’re the only one I want to be near.” Wade countered, but then he kicked the downed man closest to him. “But I want you to be safe.” there was a pause where he cocked his head, listening to something, and Harry could actually all but feel the eye roll. “Alright, alright. _We_ want you to be safe.”

Harry stared a moment, because he could definitely see that was something that would take some getting used to.

“I can protect myself.” he said instead, and that earned an exaggerated look at the dead men. Harry’s chin jut out, defensively.

“I can. I can do magic.”

He watched Wade actually _wiggle his eyebrows_ behind the mask, and felt the flush rise in his cheeks when the other man responded;

“I bet you can.”

“No, literally.” Harry argued, cheeks flaming red.

“Ooooh. He’s so cute when he blushes.” Wade actually cooed. Harry just drew his wand, pointing it at the taller man. “Just where were you hiding that?”

“ _Levi corpus._ ” Harry muttered with a flick of his wrist, and watched Wade lift off the ground.

“Holy-” Wade began, before his head cocked again, listening to whatever he heard, scowling. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. He doesn’t care if I swear, do you doll?”

Harry just sighed, setting the taller man back on the ground.

“See? I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”

“Were you planning on using that stick there against these fella’s? Because if yes, what were you waiting for?”

“You got here before I really had to worry about it.” Harry said with a shrug. He reached up to poke gingerly at his sore jaw, frowning.

Wade had crowded in before he could blink and he startled back only to be stopped with a firm but gentle grip on his arm, the man’s other hand coming up to take Harry’s chin, tilting his face ever so slightly to get a look at where he’d been hit.

“Only person who should be leaving any sort of mark on you is me.” was the near growl, and Harry felt himself blushing again at the implication.

“I’ve - uh - got stuff for it at home. It’ll be gone in a day or two.”

“Where’s home, gorgeous?”

“London.” Harry felt his stomach drop. “But I don’t need to go back yet. Or ever really. If you don’t want.” he winced at how desperate he sounded, and when Wade laughed he wanted to sink into the ground.

“Fuck you’re like that meme. Looks like a cinnamon roll and is a cinnamon roll.” Harry blinked up at him and was pretty sure Wade was grinning behind the mask. “Come on, kitten. Let me show you around New York. You can decide if I’m your brand of crazy later.”

Knowing he wasn’t going to get a better offer than that, Harry immediately followed and just hoped that it wasn’t actually a choice he would have to make. After all, Fate wouldn’t actually put him with someone she thought he couldn’t make a life with. She wouldn’t be so cruel. Would she? There had to be a silver lining.

"Fuck a silver lining." Wade tossed out. "Pinks nicer anyway."


End file.
